debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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