Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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