So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
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