Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
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