If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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