Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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