she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
