Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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