I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
