problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
