I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
