I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
