spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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