i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
