found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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