remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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