I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
