I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
