My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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