he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
