God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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