Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize