God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
