So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
