forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
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