i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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