Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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