I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
My feet surprised me
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize