Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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