I skipped work to stalk him.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
