thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
