Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
