Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize