My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
