I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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