i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
