I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
