I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
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