Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
