We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Randomize