Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
