Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
