I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
