She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
