Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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