My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
