True but thats because hes a fetus.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
A bitchslap is in order.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
