Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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