oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
