College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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