I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
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I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
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