i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
