New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
