i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
