quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
