i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
