So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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