Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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