I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
