He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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