I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I bet he comes in French.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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