We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
