apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize